It begins with my wife, Jan (playing the role of Mary Bailey), who always knows more than she lets on, and just how to make things happen how she thinks we want them to, whether we like it or not.  And she’s usually right.  Behind my back, conspiring with my daughters, her solicitation of friends and family for testimonials, tributes, memories and feelings brought responses from all over the country.  I’m not sure if she made up some story about me misplacing $8,000, but the Capra-esque results were remarkable; complete with the hero little brother Harry (played by my actual little brother, Scott Starnes) and “Hee-haws” from out-of-town Sam Wainwright (as played, from out of town, by a host of college pals and other old friends, led by the one who has known me longest, Vince Battaglia of Rochester, NY). We even saw the cynical main character transformed in one night into a teary-eyed lover of his wonderful life.

The role of Clarence, the guardian angel, was played to the hilt by Comfort Brother Bill, who made it happen by manning the Comfort Brothers kitchen solo, ably assisted by a serving chorus of Starnes children and cousins and the formidable presence of Michael Hamby, who scored the triple-double as sous chef, line cook and event photographer.  Hovering about as chief angel facilitator was Comfort Sister and CBB’s better half Tressa Hamby, who had held a “staff briefing” prior to the event and created a wonderful collage of 1959 events, culminating in the lead story of Jim’s birth on the 30^th of December.

Bill’s insistence on running the kitchen alone became clear as the evening unfolded.  The “surprise” element I thought I had avoided by “planning my own party” was as unavoidable as the transformation of George Bailey’s world without him in it.  I was to remain in the dining room to receive what was coming to me.  Before my eyes the words and talents of those in the room transformed the small, quiet gathering into the mega-type celebration to which many a semicentenarian is accustomed, and I had hoped to avoid.

Compellations flowed like the varieties of wine: red, white and sparkling, and tasted at once as tart and sweet as the cherry-mustard sauce for the duck.  Beginning with friend, confidante, teacher and student Don Cowles’ “Ode to a Wonderful Cynic” (my title), to neighbors and friends Ken and Suzanne Sullivan, to a moving poetic tribute from Jane Joel Knox, author, matriarch and the better half of a delightfully atypical son-in-law/mother-in-law relationship, to Vince’s epic and humorous emailed account (read by my daughter Emma) of my visit to Princeton as a football recruit, that revealed much about who I still am and established a lifetime friendship, these were NOT your typical “for-he’s-a-jolly-good-fellow” tributes.  They were as perfectly seasoned as Bill’s squid salad, sweet and salty, authentic and honest, no masking of the main ingredient.

After little brother Scott delivered Harry Bailey’s “richest man in town” speech (but longer and better), and puddles of tears had formed under the all the chairs in the room, I had had enough and was ready to seek relief from Mr. Martini.  But alas, as with Harry’s big brother George, such relief was not to be found, not yet.  There was my third daughter Jane and my fourth, my sister Wendy, serving more emotional cocktails, followed by the family Hamby, whose sweet and creamy tributes rivaled our chocolate pots de crème and included an appearance, through their words, by the too soon departed Patrick Hamby as a topper-off.

When “Happy Birthday” was whistled, yes whistled to me by dear friend Jane Cowles, the surreally and pleasantly cinematic nature of this event was secured.  And then Jan opened the door and let in the rest of the residents of my own personal Bedford Falls in the form of a book of printed emails.  Enter former players I have coached, high school and college pals, football and baseball teammates, including the “30 and Over Cardinals,” my parents: Luther and Joyce who birthed whatever talent and skill I am proposed to possess, and myriad other friends and acquaintances, some of whom I’d forgotten, and my oldest friend with whom I’ve had the most adventures, some sane, others not so much, all instructive and unforgettable, my brother Jeff.

Where to begin to thank everyone for contributing to the celebration of 50 years of me?  It is 12 days later and I’m just now waking up from the emotional hangover—too many “shots” of love, affection and appreciation.  I truly had no idea of the level of caring, and while I am not worthy of the honor I experienced (How could anyone be?), I’ll take it and tuck it away in my heart forever.

To “Mary,” I owe you the moon.  And lastly, “Atta-boy, Clarence.”

Comments (8)

1. 

   Scott Starnes

   Brother James, perfect adaptation of the sprit and raw emotion of the evening that was your 50th birthday celebration. As the #1 Comfort Brothers fan (I’ll say not living in Richmond, VA), I am equally thankful that you included a dash of why we were really all there: THE FOOD!!!! [Reply]

2. 

   Lisa Starnes

   I am crying all over again Jim. What a nice ending to a perfect night! [Reply]

3. 

   Tre

   12 days later and I am boo-hooing all over again! Your words have taken me back to each 1/2 hour of the day, into night, into day again (!) of a celebration that yes-you-did-deserve! You rock, toots! Comfort Sister Tre [Reply]

4. 

   Jane

   Jim–Your birthday party was not only memorable to YOU but to each of us. Magical evening from start to finish. Still can’t believe we stayed sooooooo long!! Loved every minute! Love from The Whistler [Reply]

5. 

   Luther Starnes

   Jim Sorry Mom and I could not make it. We were the first two to see you those 50 years ago in Annapolis. We see you now in our dreams and in our prayers. God still “cracks the door” in your nights to give you courage for each new day. Dad [Reply]

6. 

   Gene Suttle

   A number of years ago, i decided Harvey was my all time favorite flick as opposed to Its A wonderful.., and send this not to be disagreeable, but merely to augment the sentiments above: “[Jim,] Years ago my mother used to say to me, she’d say, “In this world, Elwood, you must be” – she always called me Elwood – “In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.” Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. You may quote me.” Liberty, health and prosperity to you and yours associated with this noble endeavor. Gene Suttle [Reply]

7. 

   Wendy Tyson

   The food was wonderful and so are you. You have touched so many lives and hopefully many more will be able to experience their own celebrations in style with the Comfort Brothers! You have such nice friends and of course, the best family in the world! [Reply]

8. 

   Rickie

   Hambly Fambly friend here…what a delightful event. Happy birthday youngster! [Reply]

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