For many, it’s about the commercials; what’s the funniest, most memorable, least related to the product it’s promoting, and cleverest?  For others, it’s the halftime show; what shocking event will take place, what surprise nudity is in store, will Elvis—the real one—explode out of a giant cake?  Still others, claiming to be “old school,” or “true fans” profess to care only about the game, mocking the pomp, circumstance and hype of the football unwashed, the one-day-a-year invaders of their turf.

The Comfort Brothers, virtually (not politically) correct in their views 99.9% of the time, recognize each of these areas of interest and appreciate them all:  the commercials can be interesting and entertaining; the halftime show, not-so-much, but an erstwhile superstar may make news by forgetting their lyrics or an article of clothing, or dying on stage, and we want to be up-to-date in all things cultural, LOL:), OMG, etc.; and finally as former players, officials and coaches, we want to see a good football game.

Above all these things, however, stands the most important aspect of the Super Bowl tradition, as with any other important religious celebrations like Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, Passover, Yom Kippur and Ramadan, whether absent or abundant, it’s the FOOD that is the FOCUS!  Amen!  Passover me some grub!

Which is why, each year at this time, we look at the four teams left in the playoffs and decide who to root for based on the menu we want for Super Sunday.  This year is an easy one and the Comfort Brothers picks for this weekend’s games are:  The New Orleans Saints and the New York Jets.

Considering the alternatives, Minnesota and Indianapolis, no offense, but these are localities without a cuisine.  No offense again, but when they first started “flying over” the Midwest states, not a hint of a cuisine fell off the wagon.  So what are we left with?

Minnesota Foods:  Wild rice (because the native Americans introduced it to the great white, really white, settlers), Blueberries (same deal), and anything from that mouthwatering of all international cuisines: Scandinavian.  The “land of 10,000 lakes” really is where the Vikings ended up, gracing the region’s culinary coffers with an assortment of anything, mostly fish, smoked or pickled.  Lastly, I almost forgot: Yumpin’ Yiminy, Swedish Meatballs!

Now, can we make something of this?  You bet, and I’d probably stick with focusing on the Vikings theme with some smoked turkey drumsticks, maybe some smoked lake trout, a wild rice salad and a “Black and Blue” (for the NFC North division) Berry pie or something as the contribution from the Great White NFC North.

Indianapolis, on the other hand, is dismal.  State Fair corndogs and fried dough, for God’s sake.  Indy prides itself on its “diverse” cultural influences, meaning it doesn’t have any.  Google it up and you’ll see.  Indianans don’t even know what their cuisine is.  Some actual quotations:

“Don’t know, but we Hoosiers sure like steak and potatoes!”

“Not really sure, but I do like our breaded pork tenderloin, with ketchiup, mustard and mayonnaise.”

“I moved to Indy about 9 years ago from the East Coast and there are a few things here that I had never heard of: Breaded pork tenderloin, Beef and noodles, Chicken and noodles, Biscuits and gravy, And there are also a lot of really good steak houses, BTW – GO COLTS!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Really? Biscuits and gravy and a chicken-fried piece of pork loin?  With a corn dog on the side and fried dough for dessert?  OMGIIFH (Oh my God, I’m in food hell.) BTW – GO JETS!!!!!!!!!

Jets vs. Saints and we’re in good shape.  N’awlins gives us the oyster po’boy, the muffaletta, gumbo of any number of varieties, crawfish, shrimp, okra, rice and beans, Cajun, French, Old South and everything in between.  And their favorite holiday is about getting FAT!  What could be better?  New York provides as many can’t miss possibilities.  We’ve got New York Strip or if that’s too heavy make it New York Deli, but don’t scimp on the meat, breads, chopped liver, and half-sour pickles.  Manhattan clam chowder can also come to play along with anything “apple,” like say a “big apple” cheesecake with “they got creamed” caramel sauce to top off the meal.  Now that’s a party.

So do what’s right, for your food health and happiness and start rootin’ for the Jets and Saints.  And stay tuned for Super Bowl Food Part II: Makin’ it Happen on Super Sunday…

Comments (2)

1. 

   Sweet Lew

   C’mon Jimmy!. While I agree with your Jets pick you must have full disclosure and let everyone know about your deep dark and repressed memories of the day your beloved Baltimore Colts smuggled their belongings out of Balitmore in multiple Mayflower trucks utilizing several different highways and left for Indianapolis. I would like to hear about how Luther took to the air and ripped every politician for this debacle. I expected you to regale us with memories of old One-Nine Johnny Unitas your idol and the greatest QB ever! I thought I might even get an argument that you would be serving Maryland Cuisine if the Colts win because they are really a Bmore team. Alas, I guess it is all too painful to remember. Please note the Jets play in NEW JERSEY so you may want to add some Princeton mucas free veggie crudite to the menu. [Reply]

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     Jim

     Sweet Lew, sneaky quick and sneaky smart, and great to have “back” has correctly identified my loyalty to the BALTIMORE Colts, who, alas, are no more. And yes, Luther Starnes took to the airways on WBAL, blasting the City of Indianapolis and the now rotting Robert Irsay for raping the Charm City of its beloved Colts. You are also correct in asserting that any excuse to serve Crabcakes, Soft-shells and Natty-Bo, would be utilized by the Comfort Brothers as this is a superior cuisine. As a Baltimore Colt fan for rooting for the Jets, I have a take on the Colts-Jets situation that I believe is probably shared by other old Baltimorons. Taking you back to January of 1969, in a peculiar way for many Colt fans the Jets did not defeat the REAL Colts! These were not Johnny U’s Colts. Earl Morrall was the Colt QB for the entire season, winning the league (NFL) MVP and taking the Colts to the Super Bowl. Unitas tore a muscle in his arm in the last preseason game and by the time he came back Morrall and the Colts were on a roll and Shula refused to jinx the dice, although the fans wanted his head because of it. Come Super Bowl, Morrall wasn’t getting it done and Shula put Unitas in just before the beginning of the 4th Quarter, too late. He got us our only touchdown, but too late. So, it’s kind of like this year’s Longhorn team, which probably doesn’t have the same hatred of Alabama they would have if Colt McWhat’shisname would’ve played. Plus, I was also a Namath fan and felt like he beat Morrall, God’s own Backup, and Shula, who quit Baltimore himself by following the money to Miami. In fact, I think he stayed in his Miami hotel room immediately following the game and came out only to coach the Dolphins. I can’t wait to hear all the dumbassed comparisons of this year’s matchup being compared to that one–Unitas vs. Namath = Manning vs. Sanchez–which is stretching reality in every way possible. That said, Go Jets.

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